| Lately, as fall has been slowing us down, we’ve been feeling some questions come up. What areas of life are we staying true to ourself and our commitments? In what areas are we challenged to commit to ourselves? Where are there commitments that are no longer joyful or supportive? How can we honor our deepest commitments to ourselves, to our growth and healing, to releasing patterns and embracing our peace and wellbeing? Commitment doesn’t have to mean perfection, it doesn’t mean we punish ourselves for an “off” day or have to get it right all the time, but it is a way to build trust with ourselves, with our subconscious minds. It’s a way to show up in our own lives, as our own friend, as a way to respect and love ourselves deeper. We seem to jam pack so many commitments in our lives, we are committed to our jobs, to our families, our friends, to netflix binging, to overthinking, and many more things whether supportive to our growth or not. But how often do we make the intentional decision to commit to ourselves? To our own growth? To our own healing and accountability? To the future versions of us? Commitment can feel difficult and even uncomfortable. Because it asks us to show up more fully, more intentionally than we’re used to. It asks us to take more responsibility for the ways we treat ourselves, for the things we accept or don’t accept, for the choices we make, and for the way we spend our time and energy. One thing I’ve learned is that how we show up for ourselves is often how we show up for others, especially subconsciously. If we are flakey with showing up for ourselves, we might also be flakey for others, instead showing up for distractions or not taking our time or others’ seriously, because maybe we are afraid to disappoint people including ourselves, so we keep the bar low in the first place. If we show up for others too often instead of showing up for ourselves, it could be because subconsciously, we don’t believe we are worthy of being shown up for. So we also don’t allow others to show up for us. Or we believe we are somehow inherently more “useful” or “lovable” when we give without asking for what we need in return. Or maybe we feel downright guilty and selfish for putting ourselves first. Committing to ourselves doesn’t have to be a grand thing that happens overnight. It can look like implementing small changes that have a big impact over time, like gratitude journaling every morning, or going on a mental health walk every day, or eating cleaner, or hypnotherapy every few weeks. Whatever it is we choose, we are committing to the greatest thing in our lifetime– ourselves. It’s a worthwhile investment that always pays off long- term when we put in the work. It helps us grow, and helps us create a life we are deeply excited and happy about. You are absolutely worth the commitment! |
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Getting Out of Your Head and Into Your Heart
| Last month, we had our incredibly magical ✨ Hypnotherapy Fantasy Retreat ✨ along the Mendocino coastal hills at Whispertree Retreat, and to say it was a TREAT is an understatement! We experienced such beautiful healing, hypnotherapy under the stars, amazing storytelling, happy tears, friendships, deeep belly laughter and dancing together. Most importantly, we experienced the power of letting Mother Earth hold us while connecting to the land, getting out of our heads and grounding into our hearts. These days, the act of getting to do so can feel like a rare luxury. It seems like we are constantly having to think, analyze or intellectualize our way through our lives. And after getting the chance to experience the complete opposite (being led from our hearts), it’s no wonder so many of us feel unmotivated, anxious, and stuck when we’re so much in our heads. And it’s not that our mind is a bad thing, either. But to allow our mind to take over, where our hearts becomes silent and disconnected can become a root of our unhappiness and anxiety. Especially when our minds are full of worrying or fearful thoughts, limiting beliefs, self- doubt or endless to do lists. It can feel like we never have a break. Being grounded in our hearts was sooo stabilizing and harmonizing. It allowed us to truly slow down and listen more deeply and intently, to our bodies, to the land and each other. We felt connected and joyful. And we also experienced deep renewal from all the letting go of our stress, anxiety and mental obstacles. In Hypnotherapy, we are in the healing state, which helps us naturally let go of those mental obstacles and buzzing to drop into our Inner Wisdom and hearts, so we can feel lighter, more clear, confident and peaceful. Hypnosis is the direct pathway to the subconscious mind, Hypnotherapy reaches the place where our mental anxiety and stress live. When we try to push the 95% of our subconscious mind, from the 5% of our conscious mind, we don’t get very far. Hypnotherapy helps us release mental blocks, obstacles, anxiety and clutter which brings greater harmony to our hearts and minds so they work together to bring us deeper peace and confidence. |
Hypnotherapy in a Nutshell
What is Hypnotherapy?
Ever wondered what hypnotherapy is all about? Imagine being able to tap into the most relaxed and focused version of yourself to tackle life’s challenges. That’s hypnotherapy in a nutshell. Hypnotherapy is a type of therapy that uses hypnosis to help people make positive changes in their lives. Hypnosis is a natural state of deep relaxation and focused attention, where the mind becomes more open to suggestions. In this state, a trained hypnotherapist can guide someone to address issues like stress, anxiety, pain, or bad habits.
Where does Hypnotherapy come from?
Hypnotherapy might sound like something new, but it has roots that go back thousands of years. Ancient cultures, like the Egyptians, Greeks, and Chinese, used trance-like states for healing and spiritual rituals. The word “hypnosis” comes from the Greek word “hypnos,” which means sleep. But it’s important to know that being hypnotized is not the same as sleeping.
In the 1700s, an Austrian doctor named Franz Mesmer started using a technique he called “mesmerism,” which was an early form of hypnosis. Even though his ideas about “animal magnetism” were later proven wrong, his work helped spark interest in hypnosis. By the 1800s, scientists like James Braid began studying hypnosis more seriously and gave it its name.
In the 1900s, a psychiatrist named Milton Erickson developed new techniques that showed how hypnosis could be used effectively in therapy. Thanks to his work and that of many others, hypnotherapy is now seen as a helpful way to complement traditional medical and psychological treatments. Today, many people use hypnotherapy to improve their mental and physical health.
What is hypnosis?
Imagine being able to switch off the chaos of everyday life and enter a state of calm focus where your mind is open to positive change. That’s hypnosis! It’s not magic or mind control; it’s a natural state that we all experience daily. Think about when you’re so engrossed in a good book or a movie that you lose track of time- that’s a bit like being in a hypnotic state.
What is the Science behind Hypnosis?
When you’re in a hypnotic state, your brainwaves slow down, much like when you’re daydreaming or just about to drift off to sleep. This relaxed state is called the theta state, where your subconscious mind becomes more accessible. Your subconscious mind is like a powerful computer running in the background, controlling many of your behaviors and responses without you even realizing it.
This is where the magic of hypnotherapy happens. By accessing your subconscious, a hypnotherapist can help rewire your brain, replacing negative patterns with positive ones. It’s kind of like updating the software on your phone but for your mind.
How does Hypnotherapy influence our mind?
Well, our brain has a part that’s like a sponge, soaking up all the stories we hear about ourselves and the world around us. Hypnotherapy uses this to help us rewrite those stories. It’s like having a heart-to-heart with your inner superhero, getting them ready to take on anything.
Whether it’s feeling more confident, facing fears, or kicking bad habits, hypnosis can help you tap into your inner strength.
So, next time you’re watching a superhero movie or reading about someone incredible, remember: you’ve got that same power inside you. Hypnotherapy is just one tool to unlock it and start your own amazing journey.
Time Travel Through the New Year
Looking Back on The New Year
What if you could travel in time? A new year is the perfect opportunity to think about time. It’s the moment when we mark the end of one phase of life and the beginning of a new one. But this year let’s try stepping into an imaginary time machine. It’s new year’s eve 2020, you’re looking back on 2019. What do you see? What would you tell yourself in January 2019 that you know now, here in December 2019?
Picture yourself there, standing on the edge of a new decade, the 2020’s. What do you want for yourself going into the next decade? What do you wish you’d done to prepare yourself for this transition? Do you have any regrets? Any missed opportunities? People you wish you’d told how you feel about them? Things you wish you’d done or didn’t do?
Now take a step back into our imaginary time machine. You’re back. You’re here in January 2019. The year stretches before you, from now to that moment at the end of the year and the beginning of the next decade. You have the opportunity right now to prepare yourself for that moment, to align your will with the reality you want to create for yourself at the end of the year.
Instead of looking at the new year as a moment to make resolutions and start on a path from which we mustn’t stray, try assessing who you want to be at the END of the year. Then decide what you have to do to make that person a reality.
Set Your Goals Backwards
Once you decide what your goals are, it can be helpful to view them in retrospect. Think of where you are now. Most likely there are some things you’ve accomplished in life. How did you get there? How did you achieve the things you have now that you once only dreamed of? Think of the things you like about yourself. How did you cultivate those attributes?
Now imagine yourself there at the end of the year in December 2019. What do you need to do to become that person at the end of the year that you’re proud of? What do you need to let go of at the start of this year? What do you need to bring in, to cultivate?
Instead of viewing resolutions and goal setting as a linear forward developing process, it can be helpful to set your goals backwards and work from the end to get a better handle on the beginning.
Start From The End
Maybe you’ve made resolutions every year. How often do you keep them? How many do you make and how many do you keep? It can be helpful to revisit your resolutions and goals throughout the year. Also keep in mind it’s okay to add goals and resolutions as you go. One helpful tactic can be keeping your focus on the end goal. Focus on that person you want to be at the end of the year. What does it take to get there? This can keep you from beating yourself up over little failures that are bound to happen on the way to your end goal.
For instance, instead of resolving “I’m going to go to the gym three times a week every week in 2019,” resolve “I’m going to be a healthier person at the end of the year.” This way you can get to the gym, eat better etc., but if you make it to the gym only twice one week you haven’t broken your resolution. By setting goals backwards – with a focus on result rather than perfection in the process – you only fail if you stop striving. The route to success isn’t a straight line, it’s a wibbly-wobbly windy fall down seven times get up eight times kind of a thing.
This year start from the end, and don’t be afraid to stumble along the way. The story of how you get there is up to you.
The Mythology of Your Life
A powerful part of our minds, as noted by people such as Carl Jung, Joseph Campbell, James Frazer and others is myth. Myth sounds to many of us at first glance like an archaic and outmoded concept – something relegated to the dust bin of history or the stuffy halls of an anthropology class. But myth is still very active today. It’s everywhere in fact.
Most obviously myths show up in our super hero movies. We have similar stories about people with extraordinary power – in modern times usually granted through some scientific malfunction or direct application in lieu of the supernatural batteries of yore; an irradiated spider bites a young man with glasses, a young man with glasses is actually an alien from the planet Krypton, a young man without glasses but with infinite wealth at his disposal devises contraptions to harness the fear of his enemies through a bat motif etc. An extremely obvious example of modern and ancient myths colliding is found in Marvel’s Thor and Avengers series with its cadre of Norse gods.
Myth as it stands though isn’t just about super heroes – we see legendary figures in our modern world, heroes and villains. Politicians, musicians, and athletes often become larger than life or mythic figures. George Washington, Martin Luther King Jr., Benjamin Franklin, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Michael Jordan, John Lennon, Oprah Winfrey – any of these people could be seen as modern mythic figures even if they actually lived (or live).
Old Myths, New Faces
In Joseph Campbell’s 1949 work “The Hero With A Thousand Faces” he explores the fundamental structure of mythology. Campbell calls the archetype “the hero’s journey” which Campbell summarizes as:
“A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.”
(In this light it is interesting to note that the Egyptian Book of The Dead is more properly translated as The Book of Coming Forth By Day).
We see many of the older myths retold in Disney films. We are often introduced to these stories in childhood, whether through films or books. Disney as a cultural phenomenon introduced many of us to Robin Hood, King Arthur, Aladdin, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Pocahontas, and other legends, myths, and Fairy Tales for the first time.
The Shadow Out of Time
Myth transcends time. Like a shadow it lurks in the hidden places of our minds, sometimes forgotten, but always in our psyche. A lot of our modern mythic figures – real and imagined – are recognized for extraordinary beauty, generosity, strength, forbearance etc.
In the old mythic legends of Greece, Rome, Egypt, India, Africa, and Scandinavia (just to name a few) we find similar ideas. These ideas speak to our aspiration as humans; They point to the things we value for good or for ill.
For instance, cleverness is displayed by both real and mythical legendary figures from Anansi, Robin Hood, Hermione Granger, Thor, Gandalf, and Aladdin to Benjamin Franklin and Harriet Tubman. Strength and beauty are displayed in various forms by Michael Jordan, the Prince and Princess in Sleeping Beauty, Prince Rama, Hercules, Superman, Cleopatra, Achilles, and Galadriel of Lothlorien.
Self-sacrifice is demonstrated by many figures as well, from more mythological and fictional characters like Odin and Harry Potter to real life heroes Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, and Gandhi who ultimately paid for their selfless actions with their lives.
Towards a Personal Mythos
The power of myth is in its application to daily life. In this way myths live on within us. What choices will we make in the coming days? On our best days do we exemplify the qualities of the archetypal hero? Bringing back benevolence and wisdom from danger? On our worst do we exemplify the villain? Giving in to avarice and anger? Myth also challenges us to decide what we value. Do you value wealth? What do you mean by wealth? Money? Property? Friendship? Do you value intelligence? Athleticism? Inner and/or outer beauty? Wisdom? Courage? Perhaps even trickery or cleverness?
This moth we challenge you to think about your own story – your own personal mythos if you will. What stories are you telling yourself? Are they working for you or do you need new ones? How will you apply your myths to your own life?
Dreaming Awake
A Life Spent Sleeping
According to a report from the National Center on Sleep Disorders Research we spend, on average, 227,468 hours or 26 years sleeping. This translates to 33 percent of our total lifetimes!
During healthy sleep, the brain enters 90 – 12 minute cycles of Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep. This accounts for as much as 20 – 25 percent of our sleep time. REM sleep is curiously important as it is associated with the dream state. Further curiosity arises due to the fact that in prolonged periods without REM sleep the mind tends to hallucinate, and seems to require the dream function in some sense imposing it on to waking life through hallucinations.
With so much of life spent in sleep and such a significant percentage of that time spent in the dream state – why do so many of us have trouble remembering our dreams? Most of us enter REM sleep (i.e. we dream) every night, but many of us don’t remember our dreams. But what if there was a way to induce better dream recall, and further, to become conscious during the dream state? Further, what if so-called lucid dreams allowed you to sort out problems and experience scenarios that could assist you in waking life?
Lucid Dreaming
Lucid dreaming is defined as the conscious sensation that you are dreaming, or ‘waking up’, in the dream state. This is experienced naturally by many children, and some people continue to have lucid dreams into adulthood. If you are one of those who don’t experience lucid dreaming naturally there’s good news! Lucid dreaming and dream recall can be induced.
Do-It-Yourself Lucid Dreaming:
This step-by-step method isn’t a guarantee, but it will almost certainly work for most – if not all of you – at least to some extent. Follow this method consistently, every day, for at least two weeks. For best results try it for a month or longer.
- Keep a Dream Journal – Keeping a Dream Journal is an easy way to train your subconscious mind to pay attention to your dreams. It sends a signal to your brain that dreaming is important to you and that you want to remember your dreams. Start simple. Keep a notepad or journal by your bedside. You can even use the electronic notepad on your phone if you find it convenient. Write down whatever is on your mind when you wake up, even if you don’t remember your dreams that night.
- Perform Reality-Checks – Reality-checks are anything that might alert you to the fact that you’re dreaming. One of the simplest techniques is the Light Switch Technique. Flip a light switch on and off. If you’re dreaming, it won’t work. (Seriously, try it). Another technique involves willing a number or letter you see to change. Look at a clock for instance, note the time, look away and look back. If you’re dreaming the number will be different (Not just one minute different either). These techniques are likely to induce a realization that you’re dreaming. In order to integrate them into your subconscious, you should perform three reality checks a day while you’re sure you’re awake. Try one at each meal. This way it will integrate into your subconscious and eventually you will do a reality check while you actually are dreaming.
- Hypnotherapy Assistance – Hypnotherapy can be used to induce a state similar, if not exactly the same, as the dream state. The state of hypnosis acts on a similar subconscious level and during hypnotherapy sessions, dream recall can be achieved. Further, the mind can have obstacles to lucid dreaming removed – and the paths to lucid dreaming and dream recall opened – through Ericksonian style hypnotherapy.
- Stay Grounded – It’s important not to get too excited when you realize you’re lucid dreaming. Your mind will have a tendency to become very excited when you realize you’ve achieved a lucid dream state. This excitement will usually wake you up. If you can become familiar with this state you can learn to be in it without the mind becoming overly excited. From there, the dream is yours!
Dream Yoga
So why would you want to do any of this? Well, in a lucid dream you have full control of what is happening. This can be used to overcome nightmares, to deal with subconscious trauma, as well as to live out fantasies and explore your imagination. Imagine changing objects in your dream at will, flying through the air, living out a novel or movie style romance or adventure story!
But the dream world can be utilized for much more than curious self-indulgence. The dream state can be used for what Tibetan Buddhists call ‘Dream Yoga.’ The art of Dream Yoga is at its core, the will to use the dream as a teacher and a mindfulness platform. By realizing how powerful our minds are to create the dream reality that we once took to be real, we can realize how potent our minds are in waking life to create an illusion of permanence, and of psychological distresses and joys.
Use the your dreams as a guide. What archetypes arise? What fears are holding you back? What are you being drawn towards? Those of you familiar with meditation may want to try meditating or performing rituals while in your lucid dream. Experiment and find out what happens. Seek out other resources on dreams, look up what herbs or diet choices may induce lucid dreams or assist your mind. Use your dream state as a place of retreat, of awareness, and of self-discovery!
The Soft Strength of Water
The Lessons of Water
Water – we depend on it for life and our bodies are primarily made up of the stuff. It seems simple enough, but are there lessons this most fundamental of molecules – H2O – can teach us?
The ancient Greeks classified the stuff that makes up the world into four fundamental elements – Earth, Air, Fire, and Water. These classical elements still show up in Tarot, Kabbalah, Alchemy and a variety of spiritual/psychological practices. We now know that matter is composed of molecules and atoms – but the importance of water as one of these classical elements and natural teachers of the psyche remains.
Soft Strength
Lao Tzu, the great Chinese thinker and founder of the Taoist philosophy, placed great emphasis on water as a teacher. In the Tao Te Ching he writes:
“The highest goodness resembles water. Water greatly benefits myriad things without contention. It stays in places that peole dislike. Therefore it is similar to the Tao.”
Further Lao Tzu says:
“Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever s fluid, soft, ad yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.”
Letting go, Tuning in
Perhaps more than any other substance in nature, water invites us to surrender into the natural current of our lives. Sometimes this happens in catastrophe, other times this happens with a gentle “aha!” moment when we decide to let go of fighting the things we can’t control and bending with them.
Two summers ago I learned a powerful lesson about water. I was out near Auburn, California swimming in a river with some friends. Myself and my friends Amber and Tim decided to climb a small waterfall upstream. It was easy enough; we navigated around the eddies and currents and scaled the slippery rocks to stand atop the mini-vista.
Atop the waterfall was a small natural pool with another pool above it spilling into it with a mini waterfall that passed through two large rocks like a flume. The pool on top was calm and serene looking; the only thing between our position on the rocks and the pool was the stream current that led into the waterfall below us.
As Amber had gone to explore more of the rocks, I turned to Tim and said that I thought I could make the jump over the current into the upper pool. Before he had time to tell me that was a dumb idea I jumped. My arms caught the rock on the other side of the current, but my legs didn’t make it. I was immediately torn from the rock with the violent force of water. I took a gasping deep breath as I was sucked under, pulled through the flume, and briefly appeared in the lower pool before going over the lower waterfall.
Into the Current
In the few seconds that this happened it felt like time slowed down. I held my breath and kept my arms around my ears as I went over, protecting my head from a rocky battering that would have been fatal.
I decided not to fight the water – it was too powerful. Instead as I was sucked into the undertow over the falls, I surrendered, protected myself as best I could, and determined to hold my breath until I couldn’t anymore. Surrendering to the flow I found, after plunging over the falls, that I had been dragged by the undertow so deep that eventually the undertow and current stopped. The water was still. I could swim out! So I did and that breath of air felt so good! All in all my arms took a beating but I was none the worse for wear.
This month I invite you to try to practice the lesson of water – by becoming soft and yielding, we become strong.
Why You Should Know Your Neighbors
The Whole is Greater Than the Sum of its Parts
We often idealize the individual. Particularly in American culture with our veneration of the cowboy archetype in old westerns, the superhero motif of contemporary films, and the political rhetoric about individual opportunity – the individual gets priority. But the individual must have a context in order to have value. That context is the community.
Even the cowboy or the superhero figure – Batman for instance – has a loyalty and a cause for which he/she fights. Curiously enough our films are beginning to reflect this as well. For Batman his community is Gotham, for the Black Panther his community is the nation of Wakanda. The most popular films right now – The Avengers film series, Justice League, and Black Panther – all serve as archetypal plays on the importance of community. The Avengers – as an example – being a collaborative team, each individual part is crucial, but in context the whole becomes more than the sum of it’s parts, to paraphrase Aristotle.
And Who Is My Neighbor?
Many of us are familiar with the Christian story of the Good Samaritan. This classic parable illustrates the importance of being an active participant in the community. In the tale a traveler is beaten by robbers and left for dead. A priest, and a man from the upper class both passed him by. Both of these men were supposedly members of his community – such is the implication in the parable.
Finally a Samaritan, a historic rival – even enemy – of the man in question came upon the man. The Good Samaritan took it upon himself to help the man, even footing the bill for his stay at an inn while he recovered. We remember the Good Samaritan because he actively chose to be neighborly, he participated in the process that creates community.
Find The Others
Active community building can be tough. In our hyper connected world we’re tempted to look far afield for people who can pander to our prejudices and confirm our biases. But the local, neighborhood level community is crucial. It gives us context. Dr. Timothy Leary once said that we should “Find the others.” This advice holds true. If you actively seek out people in your locale with similar interests you will thrive. This doesn’t necessarily mean people who agree with you – often people with similar interests will have a different way of looking at the same thing, take politics for instance.
The point is that by “finding the others” we can start building community at home. Don’t know where to begin? Start with your neighbor. A simple smile or ‘hello’ will do the next time you see them. They may say ‘hi’ back, and you’ve already gone a long way toward engaging in community building. This can also take more concrete forms such as hosting events with friends, neighbors and family. Consider your interests, consider your surroundings. Building a community can be approached many different ways, but the most important thing is to start.
